five years ago today -

I found out that I was pregnant with Braxton. I was working as a nanny and was thinking I might be prego. Jeff dropped off a test for me and about 10 minutes later, I found out I was going to be a mommy :) It wasn't a planned thing - so the first initial reaction was me falling to my knees. It's a lot to take in when you are barely 21! I knew my whole life was going to change. No more being selfish that's for sure.

It's crazy to think about it. Five years have now passed. Had you asked me then where my life would be in five years, I would have said ... I'll have two kids and probably prego with another. Well, um -- yeah, that didn't work out so great now did it? Good thing having a large family wasn't my ONLY goal.

I am grateful to have Braxton, though. I love him so incredibly much. I'm sure you other parents can understand - but if you don't have children, just wait. You will never understand true joy, love and compassion until you can hold your sweet baby in your arms. It's amazing love. Truly amazing.

So funny how a four year old can be your ROCK when you are going through tough times. If it wasn't for him ... he's a major part in my keepin' on.